Had better days, so needed a bit of a laugh. I've quite literally seen how experience is made up of swings and roundabouts the past few days. Highs and lows with nowt much in between, still, can't complain....when things are just meh I usually moan that I'm bored. I think out of the petty things in life worth talking about being let down by someone or something is one of the more annoying. Because it kinda forces you to go into things with reservation and suspicion the next time around. It's like catch 22, where you don't let yourself get excited because fear of getting let down, and you kinda don't ever get the chance to fully enjoy things because of precaution. bummer. Alternatively you throw yourself into things and when they go shitty you feel shitty. at least you tried eh? nah...I got no answers.
A bit like the dilemma of drinking a lot of booze to wallow. Seems like a good way to forget crappy things while your doing it but I reckon in the long run it makes things a bit worse - speaking from experience of course. I've never found any answers at the bottom of a brandy bottle, and believe you me, I've seen right through a few bottles in my time.
I couldn't agree more with him to be honest.
It's like he's thinking exactly what I am, and it's quite weird to be honest.
I guess we could both do with a hug, eh?
I doubt he just misses his ex-best friend though, not like me.
I miss Mello so fucking much. I didn't think I would, but I do.
I miss spending time with him. I miss being happy.
It feels like all I do nowadays is work. My new job is harder than I thought it would be, and the hours are getting to me.
10 til 2/2:30/3/3:30 and then 5 til 8/9/10. Its taking its toll on me, and I'm always tired now.
It sucks.
I'm turning eighteen in almost two weeks.
To be honest, I'm scared. I don't want to be an adult, because I know for a fact I'll take the fact I can drink legally for advantage, and I'll turn into an alcoholic.
I'm happy when I'm drunk though. I forget everything.
I forget about Mello and Skankarella, I forget about how everything sucks.
Its the only time I ever feel pretty.
I'll shut up now, I guess and go...
Meh.
xo BB
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Knowing the only time you ever feel pretty is when your drunk, makes me want to hold you tight and brush away your tears.
ReplyDeleteAnd with those tears, I'd love to brush away the hurt your going through.
Your always...ALWAYS going through so much hurt, and I wish I could fix it.
But I can't, because of our silly distance and my inability to fix things.
So, Laur, I love you, and I hope this makes you smile just a little bit, because that's all I can do.
xo.