...Seperate from the rest, where I like you the best.

Last night was....interesting.
Me, Misa and a bottle of Lambrini (alcohol<3).
We talked about Mello, a lot. It's so weird...We've decided Mello and The Girlfriend's relationship is dying, because they're spending less and less time together.
He's almost always with me now...which is strange.
Then we talked about how he almost died almost a year ago. I remember that so well.
Mello and I hadn't been talking at the time, and Misa called me and told me what happened. I froze, and I ran.
Seeing that fucking ambulance was the scariest thing I'd seen. I was so scared I was never going to see him again.
I know I said in my previous blog that I didn't belive in love, but I guess that's just me in denial.
I'm in love with Mello.
I always have been, I guess. He was so many firsts for me. My first guy best friend, the first boy to ever make me feel amazing, hell, Mello was my first kiss.
We've been through so much together.
He was there for me through my parent's divorce.
I was there for him when he broke up with his first long term girlfriend.
He was there for me when I moved up here.
I was there for him when everything went to shit.
Then she came along.
I remember how last year started.
22nd of January, 2008, 1:30am, underneath a lampost.
Mello kissed me, and you have no idea how happy he made me, honestly.
Everything was cool until the end of February.
She had been the reason Mello and his best friend at the time, Mikami, had fallen out. Mikami and her were together, and she claimed she was in love with Mello.
Of course, Mello and I had a fight over her, and that's how we stopped talking.
Then I remember that call from Misa, and Misa telling me he wouldn't wake up and just...ugh.
I was so scared that night. What if he didn't come back? What would I do without Mello?
There was no Mello without Beyond; no Beyond without Mello.
Luckily, Mello was okay. We made up and we spent almost all of March together, and he even came out with me at 00:00 on my birthday, and kissed me again.

Then they got together and Mello changed.
He lied to me, he pretended we were friends, and really? That is one of the worst things he'd ever done to me. I spent most of from April to December, crying myself to sleep, because I missed him.
Heh, no one knows about that part >_>
I couldn't listen to so many songs; Guren by the GazettE for one, because they all reminded me of him and the fun we had.
Then December came.
That's when I got into Death Note majorly, and we started talking again.
I found out he had never hated me, and he'd always been asking how I was, and now, I have Mello back, almost completely.
I believe things happen for a reason, and there's a part of me that thinks that Mello and I are meant to be. I mean, look at us. We've been through so much, and I forgave him for everything.
Maybe that's just me being stupid though.
But even Misa thinks it's different this time, and Misa is his sister, who has seen almost everything Mello and I have been through together, and she thinks we're some fairytale, and we will have a fairytale ending, after Mello's gotten rid of that bitch of a girlfriend of his.
And I do kinda believe her. Mello told me last week that I have a special place in his heart.
Oh well. Here's to hoping anyways.

And Mels, if you ever happen to come across this....
I love you.

xo BB